I watched a TEDx talk by Felicia Ricci about revising your life. Her point was that you learn what you want to do by doing it. She also maintained that life wasn’t ever completed but was in a constant state of revision. This coincides with the conclusion that I have come to as well.
I have spent over forty years working with computers. I have repaired them, built them, programmed them, and taught courses about them. I have enjoyed doing all of these things for the most part. I have become a master computer scientist.
Lately I have been developing my skills as a writer. I have written at least seven hundred and fifty words a day for over seven years. I have twice written fifty thousand words in a month. I have written over fifteen hundred words a day for the past year. I am approaching a modest level of achievement as a writer.
I have been a musician since I was eight years old. I even worked as a professional musician for three summers while I was in college. I have taught guitar lessons on a couple of occasions. Now I am thinking about teaching guitar again.
I am feeling the need for a change. I’m not sure which way that change needs to take me. I am trying as many things as I can. I am listening to my reaction to each of them. Nothing has struck a chord with me yet. That means I just need to keep looking.
I have an unrequited urge to accomplish something great. I am not afraid of hard work. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid that I have nothing great within me to create. I confront that fear every time I write a blog. I confront that fear every time I write a story.
I confront that fear every time I go to work and continue to practice my profession of computer science.
I think perhaps I’m all these things, a computer scientist, a musician, a writer, and a teacher. The challenge is to be all of these things without fear. I need to do the best that I can whatever I am doing at the moment and accept that with joy and humility.
Sweet dreams, don’t forget to tell the ones you love that you love them, and most important of all, be kind.