I spent the last half of the day traveling to St. Louis. I had forgotten how tiring air travel can be. I am exhausted. So much hassle for just over an hour in the air, that’s half an hour from Huntsville to Memphis and then another half an hour from Memphis to St. Louis. That doesn’t count parking the car, checking my bag, going through security, waiting for the plane, boarding the plane, walking from one gate to another in Memphis, waiting for my luggage in St. Louis, and renting a car. To quote Charlie Brown, “AAAAAUUUUUGGGG!”.
I was very anxious all weekend. I felt like I was being sent to do a job that I wasn’t up to. And on such short notice to boot. I was baffled why I was so anxious and then this morning I realized that it went back to my fear of being forgotten. My father forgot to pick me up at school one day in the third grade. He had an excuse. It was the day that president Kennedy was shot. He was directing a high school play that was supposed to open that night and he was busy postponing it. I waited and waited. I was afraid to disappoint my dad by not being out front of the school when he came to pick me up so I didn’t go back into school and ask anybody for help. He finally got there over two hours after school was out. I realized that being sent out on my on to do a job that I wasn’t confident in my ability to do awoke the fear that was born that day. It sounds rather trite, but knowing why I was feeling anxious helped me to relax.