Contemplation on Social Distancing

How has self isolation changed my life? Not as much as I would have thought. I certainly don’t miss the commute. Since I am primarily working with a team at another geographical site, coordination is by Webex and Mattermost. Mattermost is an open source persistent team chat application somewhat like Slack. The actual daily routine hasn’t changed much. If anything, it’s gotten better since now everyone is attending remotely and observing teleconference protocols including keeping their mikes muted when they aren’t talking and depending on the meeting owner to call on them.

I like having lunch with my wife without having to take an extra hour out of my day to meet her somewhere and then drive back to work. I like being able to take my dogs for a quick walk in the back yard when I take a break. I certainly have a wider variety of healthier snacks.

Even my social calendar has managed to improve some. I attend a weekly meeting where we get together and talk for a few minutes. Then everyone writes for an hour and a half. Then we take turns reading three or four minutes of what we just wrote.

Before the quarantine, we met at the Huntsville Madison County Library Downtown Branch. I had to figure out something quick to eat for supper and then drive to the meeting. Afterwards, I had to drive home. Now, we use Google Hangouts, and we even have an attendee from San Diego that would never have made it to our physical meetings. And because there is no time pressure, we’ve started reading four minutes of what we wrote instead of three minutes like we used to at the library.

And doctor appointments have gotten easier. Instead of having to drive to the doctor’s office and wait in a waiting room until the doctor is ready to see you, you can just sit at home and wait for them to connect via Zoom or one of the other telemedicine video chat apps. My psychologist prefers the face to face meeting but I like the teleconference.

Don’t get me wrong. I like seeing people face to face. I like shaking hands and hugging my friends. I like meeting in physical meeting places sometimes. But quite frankly, I wouldn’t mind keeping up some of the social distancing measures even after we get COVID-19 under control. I’m not an introvert. I just think we can use our time more safely and efficiently. Driving around in rush hour traffic, exposing ourselves to whatever virus is making the rounds, eating unhealthy fast food because it’s convenient is not very smart.

The quarantine has been great for reducing the carbon footprint of the whole world. People aren’t driving. Factories aren’t producing pollution. What could we do to retain some of those benefits after the COVID-19 crisis has been managed? And the other big question is, how can we ensure that we don’t find ourselves in this same situation the next time a deadly virus breaks out? We need leaders that respect science and depend on expert advice instead of making things worse by trying to ignore the problem and hoping it will go away.

There are a lot of important questions we need to look for better answers for. We need to restructure our economy so that we can better survive the outbreak of a pandemic. This is not going to be a one time crisis. The next viral outbreak could come at any time and we need to be ready to deal with it.

And there are other crises we could plan better for. Things like hurricanes, tornadoes, volcano eruptions, tsunamis, meteor strikes, etc. Planning is the wise thing to do. Having a plan in hand can save numerous lives and large sums of money instead of floundering around in the chaos that accompanies not understanding what has happened and how we should respond to it.

Wash your hands, keep social distance, stay home, and tell the people you love that you love them.

Where Do Your Ideas Come From?

One of my writing groups meets once a week. We talk for fifteen or thirty minutes while everyone gets there. Then we write for an hour and a half. Afterwards, we take turns reading a three minute segment from whatever we have written. It is not a critique group so only positive comments are allowed. We all have other source of the kind of critique one needs to hone their work. This meeting is to give us a time and place to write uninterrupted and then share the victory of getting words on paper with like minded people.

Often, before we start writing, we talk about what we plan to write. Some people are working on novels, some on short stories. Sometimes, they don’t even know what they are going to write. That is the place I started from three weeks ago.

I started writing with no particular plot in mind. The character and setting faded in as I was writing like the beginning of a movie. I recorded what was happening as it occurred to me. Mind you, after I wrote the first segment, I went back and took notes. I listed all the characters and what we had discovered about them as the story unfolded. I even filled in backstory that I thought might be useful in later parts of the story. I also noted every location that appeared in the story.

The second week, I started where I had left off. I still didn’t have a clear idea of where the story was going. I had some ideas about the broad outline of the story that had begun to come into focus as I wrote. And the characters began to take on depth. Each week I discovered new, mysterious facts about my characters and their background. The main character was trying to figure out why he woke up ninety years in the past.

The third week, I again took up where I had left off the previous week. The main character started making short term decisions about how he was going to survive in this strange yet familiar environment. It was while writing this segment that I realized that unlike so many things that I had written, this felt more akin to watching a story unfold in a movie, like someone else was writing the story and I was just observing.

At some point I am going to have to step in and tighten up the story. Cull out things that don’t move the story forward. Add exposition where it isn’t clear exactly what is going on. But that will all have to wait until I find out what happens in this story. Where it ends up. What happens along the way. How the main character changes as a result of what happens to him.

This is how I’ve imagined writing to be. I have always been too anxious about figuring out the plot and describing the characters. It is refreshing to relax and let the characters tell me about themselves and the story to unfold as it wants to. I have a vague fear that I am pulling a delicate thread out of my subconscious and if I pull to hard it will break and I won’t find out how the story ends.

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety dreams centering on the overwhelming bulk of news that is flowing through our daily experience. You can’t seem to escape it. It’s all that is talked about on the news and on the phone or social media when you talk with friends. I used to have trouble remembering my dreams but here lately, they last longer into the day. Even longer if I tell them to someone or write them down.

I’m wondering if the reason that I’m having such luck with the story I’m writing is that I want to think about something other than the pandemic that is dominating so much of our waking, and dreaming, hours. In either case, I’m thankful for it.

Be safe, wash your hands, maintain social distance, and wear a mask if you have to go out.

I Blog Therefore I Am

I didn’t get my blog post written last week. Now it is time to write a post for this week. I’m going to try to write last week’s post, this week’s post, and at least a first draft of next week’s post this afternoon. That is about three hours work and it is almost two o’clock as I start writing. I tend to work better under a deadline. The key is, I have to hold myself to that deadline. I gave the members of my weekly writing group the URL for my blog. Maybe that will help make me accountable for posting my entries on time.

I made a commitment to myself last December that I would post a blog post a week this year. Until last week, I managed to keep that commitment. I intend to do better starting today.

It’s not that I don’t know how to do something on a regular schedule like this. I write a minimum of 750 words a day in my journal. That is a place for me to record private thoughts and to develop ideas that may later become stories or essays in more public venues. I have written 750 words a day in my journal for 1449 consecutive days. Now I just need to make time to write a blog post every week.

I blog for several reasons. First, to practice writing in a public venue where other people can read what I’ve written. This tempers what you write. Some times, I find, it tempers it too much. I have opinions. I should not hesitate to say what I think. If someone disagrees with me, they are welcome to write what they think in their own blog. But there is the fact that I want people to read what I write and enjoy it. It is a difficult balance to hit, being honest about what you think and believe without being offensive about it.

Another reason I write is for practice writing on a deadline. It is obvious that I need more practice at that. The other benefit of practice is it helps you improve the quality of your writing. I write much better now than I did a year ago and much better than I did ten years ago. I’m to the point now where I’m concentrating more on improving the more abstract issues of plot and character than I am on the fundamental quality of my writing.

I also write to leave my mark on the world. In science there is a truism that if you don’t publish a result, it might as well not have happened. In the case of writing, if you don’t publish your writing, you have no proof you ever had those thoughts or even existed. It’s a flawed attempt at some sort of immortality but it is the best I can do right now.

I am beginning to doubt whether the Singularity will happen within my lifetime. I had such high hopes of achieving what I call function immortality, that is you live as long as you don’t destroy yourself in a catastrophic accident. Even then, if you have made a sufficiently detailed backup of your mind, you may potentially live again. You will have a discontinuity between the time you made the last backup and the time the backup is restored into a new body.

Such is the way my thoughts flow in this time of deadly pandemic. It can’t help but inspire thoughts of mortality and dreams of immortality. Besides, what else do I have to occupy my time while I am practicing self isolation? Stay well, wash your hands frequently, wear a mask if you have to go out and stay home if you don’t.

Mission Accomplished

We were sitting at home one weekday morning fairly early in the self isolation period and the power went out. I looked at Pam and she looked at me and we had the same thought. All of our cooking devices are electric except for the fireplace. Now I am sure that we could manage to cook in the fireplace in a pinch but it got us talking and thinking about alternatives.

A couple of days later I was surfing the internet and found a nice gas grill for a very good price. We talked it over and ordered it and a cover for it. This wasn’t our first grill and our old grill had died an early death due to exposure to the elements. It came with free shipping. So, Friday morning, the UPS truck pulled up and delivered it.

I asked the delivery driver to put it in front of the garage on the driveway. I have been building a lot of gardening apparatus for Pam and have learned that putting things together with small parts is better done on concrete than grass. I finished working from home and even mowed the yard before I got down to the business of putting the grill together.

The first thing I noticed was that the box was a lot heavier than I expected. I finally decided to cut the corners of the box and leave the cardboard as a padded surface to work on. The next thing I discovered was that there were a lot more parts than I expected. I found the directions and discovered that I needed a Philips screw driver and an adjustable wrench. After securing the tools, I started sorting the parts.

At this point I have to say that the thing was very sturdy but simply constructed. I followed the instructions meticulously and only had to back up and redo my work on a couple of occasions, once when I put a piece on upside down, and once when I didn’t understand that a piece was supposed to be bolted in place between two other pieces.

The box said it should take forty minutes to put together. After an hour and a half of assembly, I was only half finished and it was getting dark. I gathered the unassembled pieces together and rolled the entire thing into the garage to finish up the next day.

The next day, I was so sore and it was so hot outside, I decided to put finishing assembly off until Sunday. Sunday afternoon I rolled everything out of the garage and after another two hours and a skinned knuckle, I finally got the thing together. I didn’t strip any bolts. I didn’t have any major parts left over. The manufacturer had kindly provided one spare of each kind of nut and bolt. I had exactly one of each.

I had this wonderful sense of accomplishment. And the new found security of knowing that if we had a long power outage, we would be able to cook on our new grill.

Lockdown

I’m a day late posting this blog. I’m giving myself a break and hoping my reader(s?) will forgive me. We’re all a little bit overwhelmed right now. I am amazed that I’m managing to be more productive at home than I had been at the office before social distancing started. Part of it is that I have learned to focus on the task at hand better in my office. Part of it is that I don’t want to be seen as a slacker by my coworkers. But the most important reason is that it is something constructive that I can do in response to this situation.

I’m afraid that most people don’t understand how long this campaign is going to take and how bad things are liable to get. I saw a video back on March 11th explaining the exponential nature of the growth of the COVID-19 spread. I’m not a doctor. I’m not even a mathematician. I’m a Computer Scientist and I understand the meaning of exponential growth. I went to work the 12th and told my boss that I needed to self isolate. On Friday the 13th (apropos, eh?) my company announced that everyone who could work from home, must work from home until further notice. I guess there are those in management that understand the meaning of exponential growth too.

I don’t plan to spend every blog talking about the pandemic. There are other more interesting topics to write about. It is, however, the elephant in the room right now. I want to take this opportunity to express my reaction to the way our nation and its leaders are failing to make responsible decisions about how to address it. The actions of our president is tantamount to manslaughter. He has no interest in anything other than how to secure a second term in November.

I’m considering the various possible outcomes from worst to best. In the worst case, Pam and I will both come down with the virus and die. Short of that, one or the other of us will die and leave the other to deal with life alone. Barring those dire circumstances, there will be more or fewer of our family and friends that don’t survive. This is the most likely outcome. We’ve already had deaths and will continue to have more deaths until we can stop the spread of this virus.

That is going to take discipline and sacrifice. I don’t think many people realize that. I know it has been slow dawning on me. I find myself going to the door and opening it when the delivery person brings a package. I need to start waiting until they get back to their truck before I open the door. We have ordered delivery more than I’d like to admit. It occurs to me that every time we do, we risk infection from some symptomless food preparation person. I’m not blaming them. They are just trying to make a living. I’m blaming me for taking unnecessary risks of infection.

In recent days, we have been cooking more. I have been eating more than I strictly need to. This is one of my reactions to anxious situations. There are several bad consequences of this. First, I’m diabetic and it tends to keep my blood sugar higher than it could be. It also tends to increase my weight. And it reduces the contents of our pantry faster than need be. We need to stretch the ingredients in our pantry as far as they can possibly go. There may come a time when replenishing the pantry is difficult if not practically impossible.

I doubt the worst cases I’ve described above will occur. But they are possible and I want to take steps now to prepare for the eventuality. I’ll be back with less bleak observations and topics in the future. It has helped me understand my current state of mind to write this post. I hope it has helped you consider your situation.

Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Wash your hands frequently. Maintain social distancing. And most importantly, stay home. Help save the lives of our medical professionals.

The New Normal

We’ve been hearing the phrase “the new normal” for quite sometime now, often in regard to the way politicians are ignoring the conventional protocols of government, not to mention blatantly ignoring the constitution of the United States and the laws thereof. But that isn’t the usage that I want to talk about. I want to talk about the impact of the pandemic on our grossly unprepared medical system. I want to talk about the lethal effect of the head-in-the-sand attitude of science deniers on a naive and trusting populace.

The truth of the matter is, we have been barreling toward another, different disaster for years now. The climate is changing. At this point it doesn’t matter if the change is due to man made abuses of the environment, we’ve got to do something about it if we expect to survive the global catastrophe that is coming.

In a way, the pandemic is a good thing. It is an immediate reminder that if we don’t make use of the advice that scientists give us, we are doomed to endure the consequences of that hubris. Scientists have been advocating the preparation for a global pandemic such as we now find ourselves in the middle of since the first Bush administration. There has been some attention given to the matter but not at a high enough priority.

And then when the current administration took office, one of the first things it did was reverse some of the meager progress that had been made. Science can help save us but only if we heed the warnings that our scientists give and allocate sufficient resources to counter the challenges that they warn of down the road.

One of the frustrating things about the situation is that if we heed the warnings and take the suggested steps we won’t see that the predictions were right. Only if we ignore the advice will we see first hand how bad the situation will get.

At present, the new normal is avoid public gatherings, wash your hands at every opportunity, don’t touch your face, and what ever you do, when it comes time to vote, vote the science deniers out of office. Humanity won’t survive many more administrations like the one we have endured for the past four years.

Isolated Thoughts

The combination of the rainy weather and the self isolation that we’re practicing to try to avoid the potentially deadly effects of COVID-19 has found me spending more time than usual at my computer. I started working from home on Thursday morning, well in advance of the beginning of the exponential growth of infection. I hope the measures that have been put in effect manage to help us avoid the potential devastation that the virus threatens. Only time will tell.

I have been thinking a bit about creativity in general and writing in particular. As I was writing an entry in my journal while listening to a livestream on the Reina del Cid channel, I recalled something that I’ve known for a long time but haven’t thought about recently. The best lyrics tell stories. They are more constrained by their form than prose stories are but the same principles that I’ve been studying to improve my short stories apply equally to writing songs.

Another thing that I’ve known for a while but keep forgetting, the more constraints you place on yourself, the more your creativity seems to be stimulated. Constraints come in all sorts of varieties. You may be constrained by the length of the piece or the audience. You may be constrained by the genre or the vocabulary. The list of possible constraints is virtually endless but the more constraints that you put on yourself, the better the results seem to be.

Even though my commute is only twenty minutes each way, I find those forty minutes give me time to play my guitar and other things that have been falling off my plate lately. I’m lucky in that I am working on a project that is already widely geographically distributed so that it is just as effective for me to work from home as it is to go in to the office. I expect after a week or two of this I may start to get cabin fever and miss seeing my other colleagues but being able to reduce my chances of getting sick are much appreciated.

I have a number of writing projects that I’m working on but I’m going to reward myself when I meet my writing milestones by spending time writing songs and recording them with Garage Band. It’s been a long time since I’ve done that. I’m looking forward to it.

I don’t usually think of myself as an introvert. I get lonely when I’m stuck for long periods of time alone on a project. But in this case, I’m looking for the silver lining. Spending time on my computer writing, composing, reading, and all the other things that I don’t usually have enough time for is going to be a good consolation prize for having to be isolated for a while.

This will give me an opportunity to get ahead of my publishing schedule and get a couple of blog posts ready for weeks when my schedule makes it difficult to write a post. That will help me meet my goal of posting a new post every Monday. I was going to say for a year but I don’t intend to stop then.

This pandemic is not the first that humanity has faced. We are better informed and in many ways better equipped to deal with this one. Maybe we don’t have enough resources to meet the challenge of the worse case scenario but if everyone keeps calm and avoids crowds and washes their hands frequently, perhaps we can curb its severity.

What is a Blog?

It’s a strange question to ask. The fact that you’re reading this implies that you have some kind of an idea of what a blog is. The problem is, a blog is whatever the owner of it wants it to be. This can vary widely from blog to blog and even between posts on the same blog. This post is going to explore the types of content I might post here and why.

There are two broad categories of blog. The first is the link blog. A link blog consists of short entries that identify an interesting topic and links to other sites on the web that deal with it in greater depth. Link blogs often have multiple posts per day.

The other category of blog is the essay blog. It typically has longer posts than a link blog. It may have links to other sites but it is itself a more in depth treatment of its topic than is typical of a link blog post.

It is probably obvious to those of you that have been reading this blog that I tend to write essay posts here. But that is only one dimension characterizing blog posts. Another way is by the unifying topic that the blog covers, sometimes referred to as “the beat” in newspapers and magazines.

The obvious unifying factor of most blogs is the perspective of the author. This isn’t necessarily the case though. Some blogs are written by multiple authors each giving their perspective on a common topic.

I have proceeded so far this year on the theory that publishing a post on a regular schedule was more important than trying to establish a theme beyond my personal interests. I’m trying to get a couple of posts ahead so that I don’t feel so much pressure to get something written and posted by Monday.

I used to write a lot about computer languages and application software that I liked. Lately I have become less focused on programming and more engaged in writing fiction. This changes the topics that I think about a little.

I am learning the structure of a short story and how it is similar to and different from a novel. I am learning how to get a reader engaged in your story and deliver a satisfying ending. I am learning how to build a fictional world and the people that inhabit it. It is so different from writing software and yet there are amazing similarities too.

I don’t plan to post much fiction here although you never can tell. I will definitely let you know if the piece is fiction. I suspect there are better places to share fiction. Perhaps I’ll build a home page for my writing and point to it from here.

A Small Change of Plan

What with the effect that the Corona virus has had on the stock market and the fact that I keep reading advice from established writers that says “keep your day job”, I think I’m going to push off retirement a couple of more years. Every year that I keep adding to my retirement fund makes the prospect of writing for a living seem more feasible. If I can ratchet my retirement fund up to the point where I can live comfortably on it, I can use my income from writing, such as it may be, to invest in promoting my writing. I’ve never gone to many conventions because I couldn’t afford to. I’d love to be able to go to them and take it off my taxes as a business expense.

Another benefit of postponing retirement is that I can spend my spare time getting better as a writer so that when I do get ready to write full time, I’ll have more experience and maybe a sale or two under my belt. I know. You can’t make any sales if you haven’t made any submissions. I’m getting there.

One challenge in putting off retirement is finding time to work full time and go to all my (and my wife’s) doctor appointments. I’m lucky there in that my employer is very liberal in their flexible work schedule policy. The other thing that I appreciate is that they have changed from having sick leave and vacation to having one combined paid time off (PTO) bucket. They are also letting us take PTO in tenth of an hour increments after the initial hour. That will help.

Another issue that I have is avoiding exposure to the pandemic du jour. It’s not that I’m that afraid of them but rather that by working with people that have children, I am routinely exposed to any illness that is going around. My wife has a number of autoimmune disorders and is often left with a compromised immune system. My employer is very understanding about telecommuting but there are certain things that can’t be done remotely. I will be glad when the bulk of my work can be accomplished from my home office.

The final issue that I’m struggling with is the fact that I’ve never been self employed. My ignorance of basic business operations is staggering. I’m scared of failing not because I’m not a good writer but because I’m a lousy businessman. I guess I’ll focus on becoming an excellent writer and do what I can to improve my business acumen along the way.

I understand you can hire business managers. You need to have a business in the first place for that to make sense though. Kind of like the reason I’m not looking for an agent yet is that I’m not producing product that an agent could sell yet. If I make a sale on my own, maybe I’ll look for an agent.

Then there is the other approach to the business. The dreaded self publishing. Publishers do a lot for a writer. If one decides to self publish, one takes on the responsibility of doing everything that the publisher normally does for an author, provide an editor, a copy editor, a development editor, book designer, produce the book, distribute the book, etc. You have to know a lot more about publishing and work a whole lot more on the aspects other than writing which in itself is hard enough.

To conclude, I am overthinking things (again). I need to let the problems arise before I worry too much about them. In the mean time, I intend to enjoy the process of becoming a better writer. If I didn’t enjoy writing to begin with, none of this would even be an issue.

Tales of an Aging Gunfighter

Often times places that have meant the most to us in our life tend to vanish from the landscape over time. Right after I graduated from High School I got a summer job at a western theme park in Cave City, Kentucky, called Guntown Mountain. It was perched on top of a large hill that passed for a mountain in the central Kentucky karst. That first summer that I worked there, there were only two ways to the top, a chair lift which was the typical means of transport, and an extremely steep unpaved road that required a four wheel drive vehicle and lots of chutzpah to navigate.

When I arrived, the park had been open a week and the rest of the crew had fallen into the rhythm of the shows. This being my first job, I was excited but unsure of what I was in for.

The cast lived in apartments on the mountain, with the exception of Jerry, the manager, and his wife and little boy. I brought a bag of clothes, two guitars, an amplifier, and a box of miscellaneous posessions. We carted them all up on the chair lift. I jumped on a chair with one of my bags. My dad stayed at the bottom and loaded the rest of my stuff on subsequent chairs. When I got to the top, the chair lift boys helped me pull my stuff off the chairs and stack them next to the gate to the town.

The town consisted of a saloon, a simulated sheriff’s office, a simulated bank, and various other buildings that contained simulated shops with antiques for the visitors to look at from the doors opening onto the boardwalk. There was a grave yard with wooden grave markers with humorous epigraphs on them behind the main buildings in town.

In the back of towns were several more buildings that served as apartments for the crew on the inside but were painted to look like period businesses, e.g. a blacksmith’s. There was an outdoor theater that was used for a magic show and a small shooting range where we demonstrated the Kentucky Long Rifle.

I was quickly indoctrinated into the profession of gunfighter and played the role of the kid in most of the gunfights. It was fun shooting the revolvers loaded with blanks. Less so falling on the limestone covered ground that had only a thin layer of sawdust sprinkled over it.

Integrating myself into the saloon show proved even easier since I had been performing in musical ensembles and plays for almost a decade. The rest of the crew were college students for the most part, as I would be come fall. They had the advantage of several weeks of rehearsal prior to the park opening but I dove right in and was up to speed in a couple of days.

I spent two summers working at Guntown Mountain, that first summer when I was eighteen and two summers later when I was twenty. Those two summers and the intervening summer when I performed much the same duties at another park, Kaintuck Territory, located in Western Kentucky near Kentucky lake, were some of the best times of my life. Those places were special and yet they are no more.

Kaintuck Territory has vanished into the wilderness of Western Kentucky while Guntown Mountain has finally gone out of business after struggling under several owners and several different themes, most recently featuring a haunted house. They haven’t had gunfights or saloon shows there in years. They say you can’t go home again but in this case, I really can’t.